Exploration
by Sinfully Soulful
Summary: Bella and Edward explore themselves and their relationship and break a few boundaries. Slightly OOC. My first Twilight Fic. Disclaimer: I own nothing.
1. Exploration

I entered my bedroom and threw myself on my bed. It had been a long day. After school, Edward picked me up and took me to his house so that I could hang out with the Cullen's. Rosalie and Emmett just got home from their honeymoon in Africa and Emmett had told Edward that he wanted to see me. So after school, Edward drove me to his house where his entire family was waiting.  
Upon seeing me, Emmett grabbed me and pulled me into one of his great big bear hugs. After reminding him that I had to breath he placed me back on my feet and messed my hair a little.

After we all talked for a while in the living room, Emmett and Rose telling us stories of their trip to Africa and us telling them of the dullness of Forks, as though they didn't already now.

After all the talking Edward and I went upstairs to his room to listen to some music. As usual our music time turned into make out time and it was getting really hot and heavy. Edward was letting his hands wander across my back and stomach, I however kept my hands firmly on his head, not letting my hands wander. I was scared that if they did, he might realize that we were breaking some of his well placed boundaries and stop.

It was becoming so much. I was pressed against his cold body holding his head tightly to me as he kissed me down my neck, right to the top of my breast. My breathing becoming erratic and I could tell that he was panting too, though he didn't need to breath.

Suddenly he pulled away and within a flash was across the room, back pressed against the wall, eyes wide. I knew what happened. It happened every time he let himself go with me. He was scared. He was scared he'd kill me, that he'd hurt me, that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from doing any of those things.

I sat up on the leather couch in his room and ran my hands through my clothes and hair, trying to make myself look presentable.

Edward just stood like that, frozen against the wall. Frozen in fear.

I didn't bother to look up at him, I knew what I'd see in his eyes. So I didn't even bother.

Finally Edward came by and sat down next to me on the couch. "I'm sorry Bella…" He started.

I stopped him with a finger to the lips. "It's fine Edward. I understand." And I did. I did understand his reasons for these boundaries. Just cause I didn't like them didn't mean I didn't understand why they existed.

He only nodded, but didn't come closer to me.

He looked…strange. Like something was wrong. "Edward, what's wrong?" I asked attempting to take his hand in mine, but when I reached for his, he pulled away. I looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"You're…you're more tempting right now than you ever have been before." He said standing up again and moving to look out the large window wall of his room.

"What do you mean?" What in the hell was he talking about?

"When you're...aroused, you're blood smells sweeter, if that was at all possible." He mumbled the last part under his breath, but loud enough for me to hear.

"I'm sorry Edward. I didn't know." I struggled to get the words out. This must be killing him, my blood was already tempting to him, it must be hell now. "Do you want me to go?" I asked, afraid he'd say yes.

"No, I just…maybe we should go see what the others are doing." He suggested.

I nodded, that's all I could do. I felt horrible. I felt cold, and alone and wrong for even feeling this way. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts I stood up and walked out of the room heading to Alice's room.

As I was walking towards Alice and Jaspers room, Alice came out and slammed the door behind her, calling for Emmett, Carlisle and Edward.

She grabbed my hand and headed down the stairs, dragging me as she flew to the living room.

Once down there she threw me into Carlisle's arms. "Here take her." She said to him forcefully.

I slammed into Carlisle's arms but he kept me from falling.

"What in the…" He started but stopped and looked down at me and Edward. "I see."

Edward didn't even look at me, he just bowed his head as though embarrassed by something.

Emmett's booming laugh shook me from the confusion of the situation. "This is perfect." He said laughing so hard the whole house seemed to shake.

"Emmett stop teasing your brother." Esme's voice softly chastised her "son".

"What's going on?" I finally asked looking over at everyone. My eyes settling on Carlisle when no one looked to be willing to offer me an explanation.

It was Emmett who finally answered my question with a laugh. "It's just the smell of your blood. It's so sweet. Clearly you and Edward we're having fun up there." He said with a laugh.

My face blushed a crimson color, which only made Emmett laugh harder.

"I'm sorry?" I said to them.

"Don't worry about it honey. It's not your fault. It's natural." Esme said in her motherly tone.

"No it's not your fault." Alice said glaring at Edward. "Emmett can you help me with Jasper?" She asked him. I suddenly realized why she'd closed the door to her room and dragged me down stairs. Jasper was still too new to this kind of lifestyle and my blood was already tempting to him, I most be driving him crazy.

"Don't worry about it. I'll leave." I said as walked away and out of the house. I wasn't even half way down the stairs to the porch when Esme grabbed my arm.

"I'll take you home honey. Don't worry about any of this. It's not your fault."

"It's not Edwards either." I told her quietly, but I knew her vampire hearing would hear me.

"No it's not." She agreed shaking her head. "Alice knows that. She's just frustrated. It's hard for her to try and keep her thirst under control too, but since she loves you like you're already her sister she controls herself. It's still hard though and to have to try and keep Jasper under control too, it just makes things that much harder. Especially afterwards when Jasper gets depressed." She looked over at me as we each climbed into Edwards Volvo. "He loves you too. That's why it tares him up so much."

"Edward?"

"No, Jasper."

"Oh."

"He does love you though. He considers you a part of the family too and that's why it tares him up to be…to lose control and put you in danger." She told me softly as she pulled out of the Cullen driveway and headed to my home.

I nodded my understanding. "I love him too. All of you. You are like the family I didn't get to have. The parents that loved each other, the brothers and sisters."

"Well don't you worry about that honey, cause you have that now. We all love you so very much. You are like another daughter to me. I know Carlisle sees you the same." She told me with a smile.

I loved being around Esme. She always treated me like I was one of her own. She was like a real mom. Don't get me wrong I loved Renee. She was more than just my mother. She was my best friend too, but growing up with Renee made me feel more like the mother than the child. With Esme it felt as though I was the child, which of course I was, even though she wasn't really my mom.

We pulled up to Charlie's house and I looked out the window at the small house. "Thank you Esme." I told her, surprising her and myself, I leaned over and gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Not a problem my child. And don't worry about Edward or Jasper. They'll be fine." She said in the motherly tone of hers that I loved. "I will see you later this week right?" She asked me as though worried I wouldn't be coming around after tonight.

"Even if I have to drive myself." I told her with a smile. "Good night Esme." I said as I slowly climbed out of the Volvo and headed inside.

"Bella?" Charlie called as I entered the house.

"Yeah dad it's me." I called back as I headed to the living room where Charlie was watching a baseball game.

"Have fun over at the Cullen's?" He asked me not even looking away from the television.

"Yeah dad I did. Mrs. Cullen made a great dinner and Alice and Edward did out homework." I told him, completely lying through my teeth. I was becoming better at lying at Charlie and though I felt bad about it, I knew it was necessary.

"I'm going to take a shower and then go to sleep. I'm really tired." That wasn't a lie. I was tired. This evening wore me out. "Good night dad." I said before heading up the stairs to my room.

"Night Bells." I heard him call, clearly still distracted by the game.

After trying to relax myself under the cold spray of the shower I finally gave up. I was so frustrated. In seventeen years of life I'd never felt this before. Sure I'd read about it and sure enough Renee had sat me down one too many times to talk about my body and what I'd feel at different times but this was all so new to me. I'd never felt this…this utter need in my body. I felt it in the pit of my stomach and it traveled, more like burned, it's way down to the spot where my legs met. That certain area seemed to be throbbing with a need I'd never felt before and I didn't know what to do about it. It's not like I could talk to Charlie about this, not that I would have talked to Renee either if I was still living with her, and Edward, well Edward was way out of the question. I didn't need to tell him how I was feeling to add to his own frustrations. Plus I new he'd only look at this as another reason why we shouldn't be together.

Sighing I got dressed and threw on a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. I tied my wet hair up in a messy bun and headed back to my room.

Though after tonight I didn't expect to see him sitting on my bed, I still felt a deep sadness when I entered my room and realized I was the only one there. I threw my bag of toiletries on the desk and climbed into bed. I'd worry about my homework tomorrow, right now I just wanted to go to sleep and hopefully the heat between my legs would be gone by morning.

_Edward and I were locked in a heated embrace. His lips, cold as ice left a trail of heat down my face and neck. He slowly moved his cool hands along my back, under my shirt, as he kissed me right above the small amount of cleavage I had. His body pressed against mine and I could feel this own arousal through his pants, pressing against my leg. My breath hitched in my throat as his hands, moving painfully slow, made their way from my back to my stomach. Caressing my flat tummy and running his fingers along the underside of my breast, never actually touching them. _

_I arched my back more into his touch hoping he'd get the hint and finally touch my aching nipples. _

_Leaning down he nibbled on my earlobes one at a time. His cool breath making my heart pound harder in my chest. His cold tongue ran along my collarbone and I couldn't help the moistness that was beginning to pool in between my legs. _

_"Edward…please…please Edward. I need you." I panted as he moved down and began to kiss my stomach. His cool mouth making me shiver in excitement and anticipation. "Edward please, that feels…please Edward." I moaned again. _

_I could feel Edward smile against my flat tummy and it only made me mad. "Edward." I practically growled in my own human way. _

_He only chuckled as his hand climbed up my thigh, his other hand touching me lightly across my chest, never touching my breast. _

_I felt his fingers finally graze over my moist sex and I couldn't help the whimper of pleasure I let out. _

_"Is this what you want?" Edwards velvety voice asked me as he rubbed his cold nose against my stomach. _

_"Yes Edward…right there. Please." I whispered, unable to gather up enough air to speak louder._

_His fingers reached under my shorts and played with my now throbbing sex. _

"Please…oh god yes…right there. Right there Edward." I panted as I ran my fingers through his hair.

_With an explosion I seemed to calm. I felt as though I was floating. Peaceful. My breath was still coming out in short pants._

_Edward was looking at me with one of his gloriously sexy half smirks. "I love you Bella." _

_"I love you Edward." _

Then suddenly Edward was gone.

I opened my eyes. Only a dream, but damn what a dream. I was still panting when I realized that I wasn't the only one in my room. I looked over at my bedroom door, praying that Charlie wasn't there at my door. Nope, no Charlie. I sighed and laid back down in my bed.

"Well that…was new." Edwards voice sounded frustrated.

I slowly moved my head towards the direction his voice was coming from. There he was my own Greek God standing there against the window pane. "Edward." I whispered. Then I realized what he was talking about and I could swear that my head was redder than a tomato. "Oh my god." I whispered quickly looking away embarrassed by what he so obviously witnessed. I threw the blanket over my head and began hyperventilating.

Edward was at my side in an instant. "Bella? Are you okay? Bella I need you to calm down and breath." His voice said to me as he tried to pry my hands from the blanket that was covering my head.

He pulled the blanket down and gave me a worried expression.

I closed my eyes tightly. I couldn't look at him. Not after that. "Edward…" I called.

"Yes my love."

"I need you to NOT be here right now." I told him, trying to calm myself. If I were breathing erratically he'd never leave my side.

"What? Why?" He asked, I could hear the confusion in his voice.

"I just… I can't see you right now. I'm too embarrassed right now." I confessed.

"Bella honey, there is no need to be embarrassed. It's natural." He tried to reason with me. Coax my eyes open.

I opened one eye and glared at him. "Edward…how would you feel if I'd caught you…pleasing yourself?" I tried to say it without blushing but damn all that blood in my body, cause it just rushed right to my cheeks.

If he could I'm sure Edward would have blushed, he actually looked embarrassed. "I guess I understand." He said getting up from my bed. He walked over to the window but before leaving he turned around and faced me. My eyes were open and I was staring at him. "Just so you know. I did the same thing once Esme left with you this afternoon." And with that he was gone, my eyes now wide in shock. Did Edward just admit that he too had pleased himself?

Sighing I threw my head on the pillow and pulled my blanket up to my face. Tomorrow was going to be awkward.


	2. Letters

I woke to an annoyingly loud blaring coming from my alarm clock. Rolling over I hit my clock so hard it fell to the floor. Groaning I leaned down and picked it up and placed it back on my nightstand. That's when I noticed a letter on my computer. I got up and grabbed it. Who in the hell?

The second I saw the hand writing I knew it was from Edward. He must have come back while I was asleep.

_My Dearest Bella,_

_I don't wish to further embarrass you, but I don't want you to be ashamed of what happened last night. I'm just sorry that you had to do that. I'm sorry that we have to resort to self- satisfaction because my flaws keep us from taking the next step in our relationship. I love you more than life itself and I want more than anything to be able to take that step. To show you how much I love you, physically. Yesterday things got a little out of hand, lines were crossed and I'm sorry for that. I shouldn't have let that happen. _

_I'm not angry and I'm not upset that you did what you did. You had every right too, I just wished I could have satisfied you the way we both want. I hope you can over look this flaw and still love me for what I am. If not…if this is all too much for you, then I'll leave. I understand if you want someone who can physically satisfy you. Whatever your decision I'm behind you 100. I love you, truly, madly, deeply and eternally. _

_Your Love_

_Edward_

_P.S. I will be by to pick you up once Charlie leaves for work._

I couldn't believe this. He was trying to leave me again. I hate when he did things like this. When he tried to use his so called 'flaws' as reasons to keep us apart. I threw the paper back on my desk and headed to the bathroom to get ready for school.

After throwing on a pair of jeans, high heeled boots and a red baby doll top that Alice had bought me last week, I headed downstairs to the kitchen where Charlie was just finishing his breakfast.

"Morning Bells."

"Morning dad." I said not really paying him much mind as I walked over to the fridge and grabbed the orange juice.

"That all you eating?" Charlie asked me as I sat down with a glass of juice.

"Yeah, I'm not all that hungry." I told him as I chugged down my juice.

He looked at me strangely but didn't say anything. Finally he washed his dishes and then grabbed his coat. "Well I'll be seeing you later. Have fun at school Bells." He said before heading out to his cruiser.

"Bye dad." I called back as I stood to wash my cup. Edward would be here any second to get me and I still hadn't decided what I wanted to say to him.

There was a knock at my door just as I placed the cup back in the cabinet. Sighing I grabbed my discarded book bag from last night and headed to the door.

I opened it to reveal my gorgeous vampire boyfriend. "Hey." I said as I grabbed my raincoat and slipped my arms inside of it.

"Morning." Edward said leaning down to give me a quick peck on the cheek before grabbing my bag from me, and heading to his silver Volvo.

"So did you get my note?" Edward asked once I was in the car and he'd started the drive to school.

"Yes." I said never looking at him.

"Do you feel better about last night?" He asked me. I could feel his eyes burning into me.

"Edward keep your eyes on the road. You may be immortal but I'm not." I told him not once glancing in his direction. I knew I was being mean but I was just so upset that he was trying to use last night as another reason why we can't be together. He just made me so mad sometimes. I also knew that if I looked up into those beautiful topaz eyes of his I'd lose all my anger and that was something I didn't want. I wanted to be angry cause only when I'm angry, will I be able to say all the things I feel I need to say to him.

"Bella will you please talk to me?" He pleaded with me.

"Edward, right now I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything that happened yesterday and your note, so if you don't mind I'd like some quiet to do that."

"Are you mad at me?" He asked like a little boy.

"Yes Edward I am, but not for the reasons you think I am." I told him as he pulled into his normal spot in the school parking lot. Once we stopped I leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "I have to go to class. I need some time to think. I will see you at lunch. I love you." I told him as I climbed out of the car and headed to my first period English class.

I knew that if I tried to confront Edward face to face, I'd lose all sense and never tell him how I actually felt about this whole situation. I decided the only way I'd get to say everything I wanted to say with out interruption was if I wrote it in a note. So I took out a piece of paper and began to write my own note to Edward.

_My Love,_

I am so sorry that you feel that you are not enough for me. I'm sorry I make you question that. I'm sorry that I frustrate you and I'm sorry I am only a mere human, thus keeping us from that physical relationship we both crave so much. However I am completely and utterly pissed off with you. How dare you? How selfish do you think I am? How…honestly Edward, it hurts. Hurts to think you don't trust my love enough to believe me when I say I love you, and I want you and only you. For you to even think that I would even consider leaving you for another man, for a physical relationship…well it hurts. Do you think that sex is all I want? Edward, that is the LAST thing on my mind. When I'm with you all I want is you. Your love.

_I wont lie to you clearly after last night you know how much I want you, physically. I do. I want to share my body with you. I always thought that when I fell in love, found the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I'd be able to give that man the gift of my body. Well Edward you are that man and more than anything I want to give you my body, that gift. Right now we can't, not with the way we are. Eventually I hope that we will be able to take our relationship to that next level of intimacy. Until then I am content with the level our love has taken us to. Everyday I fall more and more in love with you and everyday it takes our love to a new level. The physical stuff can wait. I'm in no rush right now. Again I won't lie to you, I wanted you yesterday and if you hadn't stopped us I probably wouldn't have either, but it's not the most important thing to me. I can wait. I love you. Remember that. _

_Your Love_

_Bella_

By the time I finished my letter the bell was already ringing to end English class. As usual Edward was waiting for me outside of the room. I walked towards him and let him pull me into his arms.

"Edward I…there is so much I want to say to you but I know that you'll just dazzle me into forgetting everything so I wrote it all down." I pulled the folded note out of my notebook and handed it to him. "I hope you understand what I'm trying to say to you in this note." I told him, looking him in the eyes.

He nodded and wordlessly took the letter from my hand. "I will read it in class." He said as we stopped in front of my second period history class.

I nodded and leaned up to give him a quick kiss on the lips. "I love you." I whispered, but I knew he could hear me.

"I love you." He whispered into my ear before kissing me again and heading to his own class.

I watched him leave before entering my class.


	3. Talking

I could barely pay attention in class as I worried over what Edward would think after reading my note. Jessica tried to talk to me in class but I was too distracted to pay any attention to her. All I heard was something about her having a date with some guy who now sat at their table during lunch.

Finally when the bell rang I practically ran out the room to Edward who was waiting outside. He pulled me into his arms and gave me a light kiss on the forehead before walking me to the café.

"So did you…?" I began as we entered the café and got on line so I could get some lunch.

"Yeah I read it." He said paying for my lunch and then carrying my tray to our table.

"And?" I asked with quirked eyebrows.

He took the seat across from me and looked down at the tray of food in front of me. "Bella. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. That was never my intention." He said sadly looking at me in my eyes, his topaz eyes meeting my chocolate ones.

"Edward, I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I know that. I just…well that letter seemed as though you were trying to leave me again, after you promised you wouldn't leave." I told him, a tear coming to my eyes.

"I'm not going to Bella." He said reaching over and grabbing my hand, holding it in his cold hand. "I just…I know how hard this is. Loving you and not being able to really show you just how much I love you." He said as his thumb caressed the palm of my hand sending shivers up and down my spine.

"Edward, this is hard, you're right about that, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it." At his confused look I continued. "Think about how much better it'll be when we finally can take our relationship to that next level. Imagine how much more pleasurable it'll be." I said trying to make light of the situation by raising my eyebrows suggestively.

Edward let out a soft chuckle and nodded his head. "I'm completely on board with the idea of how much better it'll be once we finally can go there, but that will only happen once you're changed, and I have no intention of you being changed." He told me seriously.

"That's what you say now, but the next time you become…excited…I think you'll find my suggestion…enlightening." I told him with a smirk.

Edward laughed again, the heavenly sound ringing out around me. "We'll see." He said shaking his head at me. "Now eat."

I smiled before taking a bite of my chicken sandwich.

After school I went to meet Edward in the parking lot by his Volvo. As I was waiting Jasper pulled up to pick up Alice. "Hey Jazz." I said waving at him, hoping that he was okay after yesterday.

"Hey Bella." He said sadly without even looking at me.

Moving cautiously, I headed to this window. "Jazz, please look at me." I said softly.

Slowly he lifted his head to look at me.

"Jazz I'm so sorry about yesterday." I told him quietly. I knew he'd be able to hear me.

Apparently he wasn't expecting that because his eyes got wide and he looked at me a bit startled. "For what? Bella you didn't do anything wrong, it was all on me. I can't control myself yet, as much as the idea of hurting you drives me crazy, I would hate myself forever if I ever did anything to hurt you." He said sadly looking back down.

I slowly reached out and held his hand. "I love you Jazz and I know you'd never do anything to hurt me." I told him truthfully hoping to ease some of his pain.

"I love you too little sis." He said with a smile.

"Are we okay now?" I asked him.

Jasper nodded giving me a wonderfully big smile.

"So when I get to the house later you wont be locked upstairs in the office or your room?" I asked him with raised eyebrows.

"I promise. Maybe we could all get together and watch a movie or go out to do something." He suggested.

"I think that's a great idea." I told him with a smile. Then my smile faded. "Once Edward and Alice decide to stop lollygagging." I mumbled under my breath.

"I don't think that's what they're doing." I heard him say but when I looked at him he wasn't looking back. I followed his gaze and saw Edward and Alice standing by the door to the café watching us. Edward had a kind of worried expression on his face and Alice was bouncing on her heels in excitement.

"I guess Alice had a vision of us." Jasper told me.

"I guess so." I said with a smile as his brother and sister finally made their way to the cars.

"I love moments like this." Alice said happily before pulling me into a hug. "Thank you so much." She whispered into my ear.

"Everything okay?" Edward asked looking from me to Jasper, then back again.

"Everything is perfect." I said happily as I looked to Jasper, who also was smiling.

"Just having a talk with my little sister." Jasper assured Edward.

Edward smiled before wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "Well let's get you out of the rain before you catch cold. See you two at the house." He said steering me back to the car and opening the door for me.

We got to the Cullen mansion and I ran into the house. My conversation with Jasper was great and all but I was now drenched from standing out in the rain talking to him.

"Alice." Edward called for his sister once we were inside the house.

"Yes dear brother?" She asked sweetly as she practically floated down the stairs.

He pointed in my direction and she immediately knew what it was he wanted.  
"Oh jeez Bella, you look like a drowned rat." She said sadly, shaking her head.

"Thanks Alice." I grumbled.

"Alice I just want you to get her some clothes so she doesn't get sick." Edward practically growled at her. Clearly he wasn't too happy with the comment about my looks.

"Oh calm down." She said waving him off as she grabbed my hand and pulled me up to her and Jasper's room.

"So you and Jazz have a good conversation?" She asked me as I pulled on the clothes that she handed me.

"Yeah, I think so. I hope he still doesn't feel bad about what happened yesterday." I said as I ran her brush through my hair.

"He will always feel sorry about it, but now he knows you're not mad at him and so he's not as broken up about it as he was after your birthday." She told me with a slight smile.

"He shouldn't feel bad for that either." I told her as I took a seat on her bed next to her.

"I've tried telling him that but he doesn't seem to get that."

Reaching over I placed my hand on top of hers. "I'll talk to him."

"Thank you Bella." She said happily.

Our quiet moment was interrupted by Edwards loud yell. "SHUT UP EMMETT!"

I looked over at Alice and she was giggling. "What is going on down there?" I asked her. She seemed to know and found it hilarious.

"You have to ask Edward." She said between giggles.

Sighing I stood and headed downstairs.

When I got to the living room Emmett and Jasper were sitting on the couch and Edward was angrily pacing the living room. "Edward? What's wrong?" I asked slowly approaching him.

I looked over at Emmett and Jasper who were laughing on the couch.

"Nothing." He hissed at me.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, don't you DARE hiss at me." I yelled at him.Edward stopped pacing to looked at me. I'd never yelled at him before.

Jasper and Emmett were still laughing until I gave them a glare, then they were quiet.

"Edward what is wrong?" I asked again softly this time.

I heard Emmett and Jasper snicker behind me but I only ignored them. Edward glared at them from over my shoulder. "Nothing my love." He said softly.

"Edward, I will ask one more time before I leave."

Sighing Edward grabbed my hand and dragged me upstairs. I heard him mumble some sort of threat to Jasper and Emmett but it was too low for me to hear.

Once we entered his room Edward sat me down on the couch and began kissing me.

I pulled away. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to kiss me into forgetting that I was waiting for an answer to my question.

Sighing once he realized I had caught on to what he was trying to do, he sighed. It was unnecessary of course since he didn't need to breath but he did it anyway. "Emmett and Jasper decided to give me some…some pointers on how to handle situations like yesterdays." He mumbled not looking at me.

"What?" I didn't understand.

"They mentioned some ways to help us deal with our…sexual frustrations…without hurting you." He said softly never looking at me.

"Oh." Was all I could think to say. "Like what?" I asked now intrigued.

Edwards' head snapped up apparently he didn't expect that.

"Like oral sex?" I asked innocently, a slight smirk on my face.

Edward looked at me shocked.

"I'm not as innocent as you make me out to be." I told him before leaning over and kissing him.


	4. Music

When I pulled away Edward still seemed a bit shocked. "What you thought that I didn't know about oral sex? Edward I may be a virgin but I'm not stupid." I told him with a smile.

Edward shook his head to clear his thoughts. "No Bella, I never said you were stupid I just…I didn't think you'd even consider anything like that." He told him with wide eyes.

"Why not?"

"I didn't even think of that as a possibility." He told me truthfully.

It hurt to think that the man I wanted to know intimately didn't even consider oral sex. Did he NOT want to? Did he think I couldn't please him?

"Why not?" I asked, the hurt evident on my voice.

"I just…I…" he stammered for a bit. "I just didn't think you'd be okay with that. I didn't want to mention it and make you uncomfortable." He said looking me in the eyes. I could tell he was telling me the truth.

"So if you weren't thinking about oral sex, then what were you thinking about?" I asked him after a while.

Edward looked down and for a moment I thought that if he could blush, he would. "Toys."

My eyes widened. That is most certainly not what I was expecting. "Toys?"

Edward nodded. "Is this making you uncomfortable?" He asked me holding my hand.

"No, just…I've never thought about toys. I've never even used them." I confessed, a blush creeping up my neck.

Edward seemed to find my embarrassment amusing as he cracked a small smile. "Well we could always try them."

I didn't respond. I only kept looking down at our hands. "I don't…I don't think I feel…"

Edward leaned over and kissed me softly on my lips. When he pulled away they felt like they were on fire. "It's okay if you don't feel comfortable with the idea. If you're not up for it we don't have to us them." He told me sincerely.

I nodded my head. "Right now I don't think I'm ready to use them, but I wont rule them out." I told him with a slight smile.

Edward chuckled softly and leaned over to kiss me again.

"So Emmett and Jasper were talking to you about toys?" I asked him curiously.

Edward looked down again. "Not really. They were kind of on the same track as you with the oral sex." He told me.

I laughed. "Emmett I could see that coming from but Jasper? I've got to say I'm kind of surprised."

"Apparently Alice isn't as innocent as she looks either." He said shaking his head.

I only laughed harder.

We spent the rest of the evening curled up on Edwards couch listening to a wide variety of music. His taste was all over the place. Though I considered my taste in music rather eclectic, Edwards was way more than mine. He had everything from Classical to Old School Hip Hop. Yes Mr. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen liked Old School Hip Hop. He tried to hide a Run DMC CD from me, but I saw it. That wasn't even the most shocking CD he owned either, nope not by a long shot. Apparently Edward liked musicals too. He had everything from _Annie_ to _West Side Story_. I couldn't stop laughing at that, which of course made him mad but I just couldn't help it.

Edward watched me as I let my eyes rake over all the titles on his walls. Some of the titles were unfamiliar to me, others I knew and there were some that I'd never expected to see in his collection. Edward mentioned to me that he was right now on an EMO kick listening to The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and Fall Out Boy. After a while Edward stood up and grabbed a CD from the wall, not even searching for it, just picking it out of the collection as though he'd memorized it's location. Putting the CD into the stereo he grabbed my hand and pulled me to sit next to him.

"Earlier when we were downstairs and you yelled at me, this song popped into my head." He told me with a smile as he pulled me too him, my back against his chest.

The room was filled with a nice soft tempo rhythm and blues sound which later picked up and I faintly remembered the tune. I looked up at Edward in shock. Who knew Edward liked Ne-Yo.

_It's just the cutest thang when you get to fuss and cussin  
Yelling and throwin thangs, I just want to eat you up  
I don't mean no disrespect when I start staring, knowing that it makes you madder   
I'm sorry but seeing you mad is so sexy yea_

Could it be the lil' wrinkle over your nose?  
When you make your angry face   
That makes me wanna just take off all of your clothes mmm  
And sex you all over the place yea  
Could be the lil way you storm around

_that makes me wanna tear you down  
Baby i aint sure, but one thing that I do know _

_Is that_

Everytime you scream at me  
I want to kiss you  
When you put your hands on me  
I want to touch you down  
When we get to arguing  
Just got to kiss you Baby  
I don't know why its like that  
But your just so damn sexy  
When your mad 

_  
Baby don't, think I don't, take you seriously  
But I just cant help the fact, you attitude excites me  
And you know ain't nothing better  
than when we get  
Mad together and have angry sex  
I blow you out  
Then we forget what we were mad about _

_Could it be the lil' wrinkle over your nose?  
When you make your angry face  
That makes me wanna just take off all of your clothes  
And sex you all over the place  
Could be the lil way you storm around?_

_that makes me wanna tear you down  
Baby I ain't sure, but one thing that I do know Everytime you scream at me  
I want to kiss you  
When you put your hands on me  
I want to touch you down   
When we get to arguing  
Just got to kiss you Baby  
I don't know why its like that  
But your just so damn sexy  
_

_And _

_  
Everytime you scream at me  
I want to kiss you  
When you put your hands on me  
I want to touch you down  
When we get to arguing  
Just got to kiss you Baby  
I don't know why its like that  
But your just so damn sexy  
When your mad _

When the song ended I just sat there. Edward leaned down and whispered into my ear, his cool breath tickling me. "You are so sexy when you're mad, even when you're yelling at me. It's so hard to control myself."

I shivered in response. "Do you really mean that?" I asked him without looking up at him.

Edward nipped at my earlobe gently. "Anything you do is sexy."

I smiled a little at that. No one had ever called me sexy before. "Well you're not that bad yourself." I said with a slight giggle in my voice.

Edward gently took my face in his hand and moved my lips so that his cool ones could capture them into a kiss. "I love you so much." He whispered to me softly after pulling away.

"I love you." I whispered back, knowing he'd hear me. I disentangled myself from his arms and stood up moving to the shelves on the wall. I knew I'd seen the CD before, just didn't know where it was.

"What are you looking for?" He asked me.

"Early this millennia, Alicia Keys. I know you have it here somewhere, I just can't remember where I saw it." I huffed, placing my hands on my hips as I stared at the wall.

I felt Edward behind me within a second. "Here you go." He said handing me the CD. "What do you want that for? I didn't think you liked Alicia Keys."

"I told you I like a lot of different music. Now sit while I play a song that reminds me of how I feel for you." I told him as I carefully popped the CD into the disc player, trying my hardest not to break anything. Once the CD was in and I put the right song on I took a seat next to Edward. 

Some people live for the fortune  
Some people live just for the fame  
Some people live for the power yeah  
Some people live just to play the game  
Some people think that the physical things  
Define what's within  
I've been there before  
But that life's a bore  
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all  
But I don't want nothing at all  
If it ain't you baby  
If I ain't got you baby  
Some people want diamond rings  
Some just want everything  
But everything means nothing  
If I ain't got you

Some people search for a fountain  
Promises forever young  
Some people need three dozen roses  
And that's the only way to prove you love them

And in a world on a silver platter  
And wondering what it means  
No one to share, no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all  
But I don't want nothing at all  
If it ain't you baby  
If I ain't got you baby  
Some people want diamond rings  
Some just want everything  
But everything means nothing  
If I ain't got you

Some people want it all  
But I don't want nothing at all  
If it ain't you baby  
If I ain't got you baby  
Some people want diamond rings  
Some just want everything  
But everything means nothing  
If I ain't got you

If I ain't got you with me baby  
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing  
If I ain't got you with me baby

The song was over but I was too scared to look up at him and see his reaction. I wasn't sure how he'd take it. After a few moments of silence I couldn't take it anymore and turned my head to look up at him. His beautiful topaz eyes stared down at me in wonder and it confused me. "Edward?" My voice finally broke the silence.

A huge smile then broke out across his handsome face and my eyes widened in surprise.

Leaning down he captured my lips again in a kiss. This one filled with more passion than the last. I guess it was safe to say that he liked the song I chose.  
When he pulled away and I he reminded me to breath I smiled. "So you like the song?"

Edwards smile was blinding. "I loved it." Then his brow seemed to furrow and his smile faded.

"What's wrong?" I asked reaching up to touch his statuesque features with my warm hand.

"I just…it scared me that you feel so…strongly about me, about us. I just…I don't know how to feel about that." He told me softly.

I quickly dropped my hand. "I'm sorry." I mumbled pulling away from him. I tried to stand up and get off the couch but Edwards strong grip kept me in place.

"Where are you going?" He asked.  
"To find something else to put on." I told him as I struggled to pull out of his grasp.

"Bella come on, I'm sorry. I just…that song, it scared me, cause that's a song I'd choose to describe how I felt about you. It was just…shocking, to see that you really do feel the same." He told me holding me to him but moving me so that he was now gazing into my eyes. I could see the love in his eyes but it still bothered me, it seemed as though he still didn't believe I really did love him.

"Edward why does it shock you that I love you? That my feelings are true? You would think that after everything that's happened in the past year, it'd be clear to you how much I loved you." It hurt that after all this time he still doubted my feelings for him.

"I'm sorry Bella. I don't doubt that you love me. I know you do. I see it in your eyes. I know you do. I just…it's still so shocking to me that someone so angelic, so beautiful, could love me…a monster." He told me.

I sighed, I really hated when he spoke of himself like that. As though he was just some horrible monster. "Edward if you continue to talk about yourself like that I'm going to leave."

"Sorry." He mumbled, not looking at me. "Don't leave me." He said pulling me tighter to him, finally looking at me with sad eyes.

"Never."


	5. Girl Time

"Alice what are you doing?" I groaned as I watched Alice pull out clothes from her closet and throw them at inhuman speed onto her bed.

"Bella we're going out with the guys and you need something to wear. I gave you house clothes. You can't go out in house clothes." She said house clothes as though it was the most disgusting word in the English language.

I looked down at what I was wearing. "You've got really nice house clothes." I mumbled.

I could hear Alice sigh from inside the closet. Then she let out a squeal of delight. "Oh this will look wonderful on you." She said as she zoomed out of her gigantic closet. "Here try this on." She said tossing a skirt to me. "I'll find you a top."

I looked down at the garment in my hands. "Alice…" I groaned. It was a skirt. "Alice you know I don't like skirts."

"But you look so beautiful in them, and I know Edward loves the way your legs look." She told me raising an eyebrow suggestively.

"I can't believe you would use that." I sighed and mumbled as I headed to Alice's bathroom to put the skirt on.

Alice squealed happily and clapped her hands. "Thank you Bella." She said before she ran back into the closet and began looking for a top.

Once I pulled the skirt on I looked into the mirror and smiled. I actually looked nice.

"You like it?" Alice's voice rang from the other side of the bathroom door.

"Yes I love it." I breathed out.

"Well open the door, I found you a top."

The second the door was open half an inch Alice's hand shot out and the shirt was in the room. "Try it on."

I closed the door and turned to look at the top. It was a cute blue halter top with pieces of fabric hanging down on the sides. "Alice don't you think it's kind of cold for this?" I asked her.

"I've got a half sweater to go over that. Don't worry about it." Her voice came from the room.

"Where exactly are we going anyway?" I asked her.

"The movies." She said, as she too seemed to be changing her clothes.

"You want me to wear this to the movies?" I asked her as I came out of the bathroom, halter-top on.

"You look fabulous. Don't worry so much Bella. Don't you know I'd never steer you wrong?" She asked a slight pout on her lips as though it hurt her feelings to think I didn't trust her.

"I do Alice. I trust your judgment, it's just…I'm not used to this." I said sweeping my hands over my outfit.

"You better get used to it. If you're going to be a Cullen you've got to get used to wearing high fashion and dazzling people, the clothes only get better." She said with a smile on her lips. "Now here put on these." She said handing me a pair of peek-a-boo heels. They were the same blue of the top and the heel was just the right size for me, though I still worried about walking in them.

I only nodded to her as I grabbed the heels and put them on. Once finished I grabbed the half sweater Alice held out for me and put it on. I took a look at myself in the mirror and smiled. Alice had done my hair earlier and put light makeup on my face. I looked pretty. "Thank you Alice." I said happily as she pulled me into a hug.

"You're welcome little sis." She said happily.

We looked at ourselves in the mirror and smiled. "Come on, let's go get our men." She said pulling me downstairs.

Once we got downstairs I saw Jasper and Edward in the living room. Edward looked more handsome then usual, if that were at all possible. He was wearing a pair of black slacks and a blue button down shirt. It took all my self-control from running to him and raping him with my lips.

Jasper looked at me and laughed. "You two are sickening." He said moving towards Alice and wrapping his arm around her waist.

"Are you two done staring at each other?" Alice's voice asked.

Edward smiled his beautiful half smirk and pulled me to him, kissing me softly on my forehead. "You look beautiful." He said ignoring his siblings.

"Thank you." I smiled. "You look great." I told him laying my head on his chest. I loved the way he felt next to me.

"Come on guys." Alice whined.

Edward chuckled. "Calm down Alice." He reached down and grabbed a hold of my hand. "Come on my love." He said pulling me along with him as the four of us headed out to Edwards Volvo.

"So what are we going to see?" I asked once we were in the car.

"They are having an old movie week at the theater and tonight they're playing my favorite movie." Alice said happily from the backseat.

I turned my head to look at her. "Which is?"

"Casablanca." She said with a sigh.

"Have you seen it before?" Jasper asked as he absently played with a piece of Alice's hair.

"Nope." I answered as I turned my head back to look out the front window.

Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to his side. "It's a very nice movie. I think you'll like it." He told me as he leaned down to kiss my head.

I only nodded. "I don't really care about the movie so long as we're together." I told him with a smile.

Edward smiled back. "Well since I'm not going anywhere that's pretty much a given."

"You too are so…" Jasper said with a laugh as he feigned disgust.

"Leave them." Alice said swatting him on the chest with her hand.

I giggled.

"What is so funny?" Edward asked.

"Sometimes you guys seem so…normal. Like humans." I told.

"Well we try you know." Jasper said teasingly.

**AN: I just finished reading Eclipse and holy crow is it good. It was awesome I couldn't put it down. If you haven't read it yet, what are you waiting for? It was great. I can't wait for the next one. **


	6. Friends & Lovers

"Come on Bella." Alice said as she pulled me through the front doors and past the ticket booth to the concession stand.

"Alice what are you doing?" I asked her as she stood on line.

"The guys are going to get the tickets. You and I are getting the snacks." She told me with a smile.

"For what? You guys don't eat." I whispered low enough for no one next to us to hear, but I knew she would hear.

"For image silly." She said with a beautiful giggle as she stepped up to the counter. "May I have a medium tub of popcorn, two large cokes, and a box of sour patch kids?" She asked the young guy behind the counter. I felt bad for the guy I knew only to well how the Cullen's had a knack for dazzling people.

"I can't believe you guys are wasting all this money on food you're not even going to eat." I mumbled under my breath.

Alice just smiled at me.

"You know there are starving children in Africa who could eat this stuff?"

"I highly doubt the theater sends their left over snacks to Africa, besides it's not going to waste. One of us actually eats this stuff." Edwards voice said from behind me as he wrapped his arm around me.

I gave Edward a sarcastic smile. When I looked up at him though, he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at Jasper strangely.

"What's wrong?"

"You really feel bad?" Jasper asked me looking at me strangely.

"What are you…oh. Yes I do. I don't like to waste food when there are so many people out there who don't have food." I told them truthfully. I felt Edwards arm tighten around me and I looked up at his face.

"We'll help you eat the popcorn, we'll save the snack in my car just in case you get hungry one day while we're out." He promised me seriously.

I nodded my head. "Thank you guys. I know I'm weird and all worrying about people I don't even know but…"  
"That's the way you are and I love you for it. You're always caring about everyone else. You're always worried about how everyone around you feels." Edward cut me off.

"Come on let's go, the movie should be starting soon." Alice said as she handed Edward and Jasper the food and drinks.

Edward grabbed my hand and we headed to the largest room in the theater.

They were right, it was a really good movie and it's funny how many phrases I've heard used in everyday conversation that came from this movie. Once the movie was over we all headed out into the chilly night. I must have shivered because Edward pulled his arm away from around my shoulders.

"You shivered." He told me at my confused look.

"Oh I didn't notice." I told him. Then I pouted. "I'm colder now than I was with you next to me."

Edward laughed a little at my pout and pulled me closer to him. "I don't want you to get sick but I just can't refuse you anything when you pout like that." He told me as he once again wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

Jasper groaned as we walked to the car.

"What's wrong Jazz" I heard Alice ask him.

"These two are sickening." He answered with another groan.

I just looked at him and pouted some more. "You're so mean Jasper."

Jasper laughed. "You two are just too cute sometimes." He said shaking his head and laughing at my pout.

"Come on leave poor Bella and Edward alone." Alice said lightly slapping Jasper on the chest. She then turned to Edward. "What now?"

Edward looked down at me and smiled; looking back at Alice he answered. "We need to go. Some of us need sleep." He said smiling at me as I yawned.

"Sorry." I mumbled as I stifled another yawn.

Alice only giggled. "Silly human." She said shaking her head at me.

Edward threw Jasper his keys and pulled me into the backseat.

"Why aren't you driving?" It was very rare that Edward didn't drive. He liked the speed.

"You need to rest." He said pulling my head to his chest. "Now close your eyes. I'll wake you when we get you home." His velvety smooth voice told me. He began to hum my lullaby to me and soon I was falling into unconsciousness.

"Bella my love, we're here." The words came to me through the fog of sleep, way too soon.

I kept my eyes close. "I don't want to wake up." I groaned.

I could hear Jasper and Alice laugh a little at me and I opened my eyes to see that we were in the Volvo in front of Charlie's house.

"It's time for all good little humans to go to sleep." Edward's said with a light smile on his face as he opened his door and began to gently pull me out of the car. "See you guys tomorrow." He said to Jasper and Alice.

"Good night Bells." Jasper called from the drivers seat.

"Have a good sleep Bella." Alice called.

"Bye guys." I mumbled as I let Edward practically pulled me to the door.

Edward held me until we got to the front door. "I'll be upstairs waiting for you." He whispered in my ear and with a swift gust of wind he was gone.

I opened the door and headed to the stairs when I heard Charlie call me. "Bella, did you have fun?"

"Yeah dad. We saw Casablanca."

"Oh that's good. Well good night." He said clearly distracted by the box scores on ESPN.

I dragged myself up the stairs and practically crawled to my bed where Edward sat waiting for me.

"You're really tired aren't you?" Edward said worriedly as he pulled me into his arms.

I nodded my head against his chest and yawned.

"Go take a shower so you can go to sleep." He told me pulling away from his body.

"But I don't wanna. I want to stay here with you." I whined a bit.

Edward laughed. "If you don't get up to shower I'll just have to take you to the bathroom and give you a shower myself." He said with a smile on his face and in his eyes.

I could feel my eyes widen in horror. "Okay I'll go." I said standing quickly. I grabbed my stuff and headed to the bathroom.

I could hear Edwards chuckle from behind me as I made my way into the bathroom.

The next morning I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I reached over to grab it when I heard Edward growl low in his throat.

I gasped at the unexpected sound and looked up at him. "What is wrong with you?" I asked him.

"It's the dog." He growled again.

Sighing I shook my head at him and grabbed my phone. "Hello Jake."

"How'd you…? Oh wait the leech is with you? Don't you think it's a little early for visitors Bella?" He asked me.

I sighed. I just woke up it is too early for these two to be having a pissing contest. "Jacob, if it's too early for visitors don't you think it'd be the same for a phone call? Besides, he's not a visitor if he spent the night. And if you dare tell Charlie that Edward spent the night I swear so help me god I will rip you into little wolf bits." I growled at him in my own weak human growl.

Edward laughed a little. If it was at my words or my attempt at a growl I wasn't sure.

Clearly Jacob found it amusing also cause he too was laughing on the other line of the phone.

"I wont tell Bells, I don't like it but I wont tell. I don't want you to be mad at me again." He said seriously once he was done laughing.

"So what's up anyways, it's a bit early for a phone call ain't it?" I asked him as I laid my head on Edwards' chest.

"Well I missed you Bells. I haven't seen you in a while and I really want to see you. Plus everyone down here misses you too."

"I'm sorry Jacob but I can't today. I have plans. Maybe some other time?" I suggested. As the words came out of my mouth I could feel Edward shaking his head no.

"The bloodsucker won't let you come by will he?" I heard Jake ask angrily. I could picture him in his small house his large body shaking in fury.

"Jake calm down before you break Billy's phone." I sighed. "This has nothing to do with Edward, I already had plans with his sister to go shopping."

"You hate shopping." He reminded me.

"I know but well I promised her." I told him as I ran a frustrated hand over my face as I pulled away from Edward and rolled on to my back to stare up at the ceiling. I forgot how well Jacob knew me.

"Fine. Well just give me a call when you can make the time to see your friends." He said angrily.

"Jake don't be like that. You know I miss you guys too. I just already had plans." I tried to explain to him.

"Plans to do something you hate." He sighed again and I could image him trying to control himself from phasing. "Just give me a call when you get the chance to hang out. Talk to you later Bella." He said before hanging up.

I shut the phone off sighed and closed my eyes. I couldn't handle this stuff. I hated that my best friend and the love of my entire existence hated each other. It was making my already difficult life more difficult.

"I'm sorry." I heard Edwards voice next to me.

I slowly opened my eyes. "Sorry for what?" I asked him.

"I know that the way Jacob and I act towards each other hurts you. I really wish we could be friends. I wish we could get along but we can't." He explained.

I nodded. I understood all that, it just really sucked. "It's okay. I know you guys can't really help it." I told him as I lay my hand on his.

"I don't want to make this worse, but I know that you want to hang out with Jacob and his friends, but Bella it's just not safe."

I glared at him. "Jacob and the others would never hurt me." I told him.

"No not intentionally, but they're young wolves. They don't know how to control themselves and the slightest thing could get you killed." He said pulling me into his arms. "I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to you."

"Nothing will happen to me. These guys…Edward they took such good care of me while you were gone. They helped me put the pieces of my life back together." I told him looking into his eyes, hoping that he'd finally get it. See the trust I held for my friends down in La Push.

Edward nodded and kissed my hair. "I know you trust them and I know they'll take care of you I just…it's hard for me to let go of you and let you be somewhere where I can't be and there might be danger." He told me.

"I know." I said sighing and resting my head against his chest. I closed my eyes and breathed him in. "What time is it?"

"About nine." He mumbled into my hair.

"What time is Alice coming over?" I asked refusing to open my eyes. I could feel sleep begin to take me over.

"Eleven."

"Good." I said digging my head deeper into his chest. "Give me another hour."

Edwards' chest rumbled underneath my head with his laugh. "Don't worry about it. I'll wake you at ten."

"Mmmm… I like the way that sounds."


	7. Edward Worries

"Bella come on, just one more store." Alice begged me in the middle of the Port Angel's Mall.

I sighed. I knew this was going to be a bad idea. Maybe I should have listened to Jacob and just went down to La Push. "Alice one more store, but I swear you're not buying me one more thing. You've already spent WAY too much money on me." I told her as sternly as I could.

Alice rolled her eyes at me and grabbed my hand pulling me into one more store.

Three hours later we were finally leaving the mall. I was half asleep in the front seat of Alice's Toyota Corolla on our way back to Forks. Alice was trying to keep me up with conversation about school and Charlie and how much fun today was. I just wanted to sleep.

I must have fallen asleep sometime in the middle of Alice's ramblings because the next thing I remember is the door being pulled open and hearing Edwards angelic voice yelling at Alice. "What the hell did you do to her?"

I could hear Alice sigh as she got out of the car. "I got hungry." She said sarcastically.

Edward apparently didn't like that comment because I heard him growl a warning to Alice. I opened one eye to glance at Edward.

"Are you going to take me inside or are you going to let me freeze to death out here?" I asked him.

Edward glanced at me and smiled. "I would never let you freeze to death." He said leaning down to take my seat belt off and then he grabbed me and picked me up, taking me past his family and straight to his room. "Emmett get her bags from the car and put them in my Volvo." Edward told his brother as we past him on the stairs.

I giggled as Emmett gave Edward a mock salute. "Sure thing Captain."

Once inside his room Edward placed me on a bed. "Edward why is there a bed in here?" I asked him.

"It's a bed room isn't it?" He asked me.

"Ha Ha. You're so funny. You know what I mean." I told him as I propped myself up on my elbows.

"Well you've been spending a lot of time here and I'm sure the couch isn't all that comfortable for you when you nap here so I figured the bed would be much more sensible." He told me giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then I felt his breath on my ears. "Plus now there's no risk of us falling off it while we're making out." He said softly.

An involuntary shiver coursed it's way down my back and I could feel my body heat begin to rise with the naughty thoughts that one sentence brought up.

"Do you like that idea?" He asked me as he began to kiss my earlobe.

All I could do was nod.

I could hear Edward chuckle as he continued kissing me on my face and neck. With his blunt teeth he nibbled on my neck a bit. "It could be so easy." He mumbled against my skin.

He pulled away as though surprised by his words as I was. "I'm sorry." He mumbled.

"It's okay. I'm not scared or anything, just kind of wondering why you don't do it, if it's so easy." I told him seriously, looking in his eyes.

"Because taking your life is easier than turning you." He told me, his eyes holding a kind of seriousness I'd only seen when we talk about these things.

I nodded not sure what to say to that.

"Does it scare you that I could so easily take your life?" He asked me. He now laid next to me on the bed, head propped on his hand as he looked at me.

"No, it scares me that you could so easily crush my heart again." I told him truthfully.

"I would never do that." He told me as he pushed back a loose strand of hair.

That was always a lingering fear of mine, that one day he'd leave me again for my own good. I don't think I'd survive it. It almost killed me the last time. Of course I never told him this and as I was often, I was grateful for whatever reasons there were that didn't allow him access to my mind.

"What are you thinking about?"

Edwards voice brought me out of my own little world and I looked up at his face as he looked at me with curiosity in his eyes.

I debated on telling him the truth or not. "Just wondering what I'd do if you did decide to leave again one day." I couldn't lie to him, not even if I tried.

"You never have to worry about that. It's never going to happen." He said pulling me into his arms and holding me to his chest tightly.

I laid my head on his chest and breathed in a scent that was so Edward.

"You guys are driving me crazy." Jasper yelled from down the hall.  
I laughed a bit at that. Poor Jasper. If he was feeling a fraction of what I was feeling right now, he must be ready to kill himself. After all he was feeling this for his 'brother'. I laughed.

Edward looked down at me. "What's so funny?" He asked me.

"Jasper is feeling some serious love for you right now." I said with a laugh.

Edward's chuckle shook through his chest. "I love you too Jazz." He called to his brother.

"So when are you and Emmett going 'camping'?" I asked Edward as we lay on my bed.

"Friday after school." He answered me softy and he ran his fingers through my hair. It felt so good I was sure to fall asleep any minute now.

"Are you going to hang out with Alice while I'm away?" His smooth voice asked.

I shut my eyes letting sleep creep up on me. "No I'm going down to La Push to visit Jacob and the others." I told him.

Edward's growl made my eyes snap open in shock. Oops. I wasn't supposed to say that. Crap. I slowly lifted my eyes to look at his face. Bad idea. The anger on his face made me bury my head into his chest to try and escape it.

"What do you mean you're going down to La Push?" He asked through clenched teeth.

I swallowed. "I promised Jacob and the others that I'd go down and see them while you were away for the weekend."

I felt Edward sigh. "Bella I told you I don't feel comfortable with you going down there. What if something happens to you? I can't go down there without breaking the treaty. Who's going to protect you?" He asked.

"I don't need protection from my friends. Just like I don't need anyone to protect me from you." I told him.

Edward sighed. "Bella you don't know how dangerous it is to be around werewolves, especially young ones." He tried to explain to me again for the millionth time.

"Edward I do know it's dangerous. Everytime I think about Emily I remember how truly dangerous it could be hanging out with them, but then I look at my friends. Jacob, Sam, Embry, all of them and I know I'm going to be okay." I told him trying to make him believe me.

Edward shook his head. "I'm not going to say that you CAN'T go because you'll go anyway, but just do me a favor and take my cell phone with you. In case anything happens you call me on Emmett's phone. All my family's numbers are in the phone so if you need anything you give one of us a call. Please. Also promise me that every hour you will call Esme and tell her you're okay."

I looked at him with raised eyebrows. "I am not going to stop everything I'm doing every hour to call Esme. I'll call her every couple of hours if it'll ease your worrying but not every hour. You have to be reasonable Edward." I told him.

"I am!" He practically hollered at me.

I drew myself from his arms and moved away. It wasn't that I was scared of him, I just didn't like when he got this way. I hated being yelled at or talked down to by Charlie and the last thing I wanted was to have Edward trying to do the same thing. I stood up from the bed and walked over to my bag of stuff. "I'm going to take a shower. When I get back you better be calm again." I told him before heading to the shower.


	8. Making Up

When I got back to my room Edward was laying on my bed, hands behind head, eyes closed. I sighed as I began moving around my room to get my stuff ready for sleep and for tomorrow morning.

Once I couldn't put it off anymore I climbed into bed besides Edward, my back towards him, and wrapped myself in my blanket. Edwards' eyes were still closed.  
We had never been angry at each other for more than a few minutes and I'd never gone to sleep mad at him before, but this time…it probably didn't matter cause I doubted I'd be getting any sleep like this.

Suddenly Edwards face was in the crook of my neck and his arm was wrapped around my waist. "I'm sorry."

I didn't move. "Sorry for what exactly?" I asked him. I didn't dare to turn to look at his gorgeous face, I knew that the second I did I'd forgive him for being an ass and in the morning we'd still have the same problems we had before.

"For yelling at you." He answered sighing, his breath tickling my neck.

I nodded my head. It's not like I expected him to give in on this whole La Push thing. "What are we going to do Edward?" I asked him softly as I turned around and dug my head into his cold hard chest.

"About what?" He asked as he pulled me tighter to his body.

"Jacob, my friends in La Push." I answered, not lifting my head from his chest.

I felt him sigh. "I don't know Bella. I really wish I could just let you go and not worry about you, but Bella I'm scared that something bad is going to happen to you."

I reached up and cupped his face in my hand. "Edward, nothing is going to happen to me. I promise you."

Edward nodded. "I just worry is all Bella. If anything happened to you…"

"Nothing is going to happen. I will take your cell phone and I'll call Esme every couple of hours and then I'll be back home. I promise you." I told him.

Edward nodded. "I guess that's good enough." He mumbled.

"I love you Edward." I whispered as I leaned up a little bit to kiss him. I had intended for it to just be a quick peck but Edwards' hands grabbed the back of my head holding me to his lips.

All too quickly Edward pulled away from my lips. I groaned a little digging my head into his chest. "I don't know how much more of this I can take." I mumbled. Once the words came out of my mouth I regretted it. I looked up into his eyes hesitantly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." I told him instantly.

His eyes held a hint of hurt in them though I could tell he was trying to conceal it.

He closed his eyes and sighed. "I wish I wasn't so selfish. I wish I could leave you so that you could find the life you deserve. The life you want. So you could find a guy who could give you all the things I can't." He told me softly. His eyes still closed.

I sighed. "I don't understand why you continue to think you're not good enough. Sure there are things I wish we could have together that right now we can't, but Edward I wouldn't want them with someone else anyway. What we have together, god I wouldn't trade that in for one hundred physical moments with someone else." I told him shaking my head. "You're what matters, the love we share, that's all I could possibly need in life. Your love is all that matters to me." I told him softly as I reached up and stroked his cheek softly with my fingertips.

Edward, who's eyes had opened when I began specking, closed his eyes again as I caressed his marble features. "I love you so much. It hurts that I can't show you that physically." He whispered. His cool breath on my face sent chills up my spine.

"You show me everyday." I told him. "The other stuff can wait."

I wasn't sure how long we stayed there for but it was moments like these that made me sure I made the right choice in staying with Edward.

"Please try to have fun this weekend with Emmett. I'll be okay so don't worry about me. I'll even give you call and leave you a message on Emmett's phone telling you that I'm alright if that helps." I told Edward. It was Thursday night and Emmett was waiting for Edward so they could go hunt.

Edward nodded his head. "Just please be careful." He said pulling me tightly yet gently so not to hurt me, to his chest. "I would die…again…if anything ever happened to you." He told me, his voice thick with the raw emotion he obviously felt.

"I'll be fine." I told him once more before yawning.

"Time for all good girls to go to sleep." Edward said with a light chuckle as he wrapped me under my blanket.

"I'll miss you and I love you." I told him as I slowly closed my eyes, letting sleep take me.

"I love you too my angel." Edward said barely over a whisper before he began to hum my lullaby to me.

"Hey vamp girl." Embry called out to me as I climbed out of my truck in front of Jacob's home.

"Hey wolf boy." I quipped back with a laugh.

"Bella." Jacob said happily as he sprinted over to me, grabbing me and pulling me into a tight hug.

"Air." I gasped out as Jacob's hug became too tight. He let go of me immediately. "Jeez Jake, one of these days you're going to break my ribs." I told him with a laugh.

Jacobs face turned down into a frown. "Don't joke like that Bells."

"I'm only kidding." I said as I wrapped my arms around his torso. I looked up at him from under my lashes. "I'm sorry." I mock pouted.

Jacobs throaty laugh vibrated through his chest. "You're too cute when you pout like that."

Realizing what I was doing I cleared my throat and stood up straight again, letting go of him. My body protested to the sudden loss of heat but my mind knew it was the right thing to do. Didn't want to give Jacob any reason to think things between us had changed. It'd be wrong. No matter how warm he made me feel.

"So you break out of your little prison?" Embry's voice broke the uncomfortable silence.

I turned to Embry and threw him a grateful smile. "You're too funny for your own good Embry. No I didn't break out. Edward knows I'm here." I told him, smiling at their shocked faces.

"So what? He's just sitting at home knitting or something?" Jacob asked.

"No, he's out with his brothers." I told him, no need to say they were hunting, even though by the looks on their faces, both wolves knew exactly what the Cullen's were doing this weekend.

"Well I'm going to let you two have fun. I promised I'd meet Quil on the cliff for some diving. And no Bella you can't join us." Embry said with a laugh.

I just glared at Embry's retreating back as Jacob laughed. I could tell that by the shaking of Embry's back, he too was laughing.

"So what do you want to do today Bells?" Jacob asked me as he stopped laughing and looked my way.

"I don't know, maybe we could go down to the beach and just hang out." I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Sure, whatever you want to do." Jacob said. "Want to take the bikes?" He asked me, raising his eyebrows.

"I don't know Jake. I promised Edward I'd be safe and not do anything dangerous." I told him.

"Riding our bikes isn't dangerous. Your blood sucker…" at my annoyed look he quickly reworded his sentence. "I mean Edward…he's just overprotective."

I shook my head. "How about we take my truck and leave the bikes for my next visit." I told him.

He seemed to like the idea of me coming back because he broke out into a large grin and nodded his head. "Okay. Let's go." He said grabbing my hand and pulling me to my truck.

I just laughed at him. "Jake you can be so silly sometimes." I told him as I shook my head at him, climbing into the drivers seat.

"Yeah well you love me anyway." He said with a laugh as he climbed in next to me.

I couldn't argue with that. I did love my Jake. He was my best friend.


	9. Heat

"So how have you been?" Jacob asked me as I drove toward the beach.

"I've been okay. And yourself? How's the werewolf thing going for you?" I asked him. I knew he wasn't too happy with the fact that he was now a werewolf, no matter how much he loved the idea of killing vamps.

He shrugged. "I'm doing good. I love this werewolf thing, but sometimes…well it defiantly has its downfalls." He said shaking his head.

I only nodded. I knew he hated the fact that all the guys were always in his head. "It must suck having someone always in your head." I told him.

"Well you know how it is." He said nodding.

I smiled smugly. "Nope. I really don't."

Jacobs expression was confused and it only made me smile wider. "Doesn't…Edward read minds?" He asked, grinding Edwards name out by pure force.

"Yeah he does. He just can't read mine." I said happily.

"Well I guess that works out. Can't very well have your vampire boyfriend knowing that you're always thinking of me." He said with a slightly amused smile.

I shook my head. "You really are delusional. Maybe it's that high temperature you wolves have that makes you that way."

"Nope just the truth." He said with a smile.

I just shook my head and continued driving. We stayed in silence for a while.

"Sorry." Jacob's voice was soft from the other side of the truck.

I just glanced over at him and nodded.

"So everything with him is good then?" He asked.

I sighed, I knew what he was asking and I hated when he asked. "Yes Jacob, everything is good. Listen if we're going to be friends we're going to be friends but don't keep asking me if my relationship is good, cause I know that when you do, it's not cause you're worried about me, it's because you hope to hear that I'm leaving him for you." I told him, slightly annoyed.

I guess he could hear it in my voice because he didn't say anything else for a while. Finally he spoke. "I'll be good. I promise. I do want to be your friend Bells. If nothing else." He said honestly and I could hear a hint of pain in his voice.

I sighed. "Maybe I shouldn't be here."

"Come on Bella, I promise I'll be good. I'll be the Jacob you like to hang out with. You're friend. Just don't go. I've missed you." He said desperately.

I thought about it. I had missed him too. "Okay just…lets be friends the way we used to be, please." I told him.

"Sure sure." He said with a smile playing on his lips.

I left Jacob's house and headed straight home that night. I was so tired. That kid had so much energy. I knew the second I got across the invisible line that separated the vampires and the wolves, Alice would see me and Edward would be on his way to meet me at my home, so I didn't even bother to call him.

I shut my truck off and climbed out of the cab slowly. I was really tired. I glanced up at my bedroom window and saw Edward sitting on my windowsill. I smiled and walked into Charlie's house.

"Bella?" Charlie called out to me.

"Yeah it's me dad." I said coming into the living room where he was sitting watching some type of sporting event.

"Did you have fun in La Push?" He asked, a huge smile on his face.

I sighed. This was getting ridiculous. I loved hanging out with Jacob and I knew Charlie loved the idea of Jacob and me, but this was getting on my nerves. "Yes dad I did." I told him. "I'm going to sleep. It was a long day." I said making my way towards the stairs.

"Well have a good night."

"You too dad."

I entered my bedroom and there was Edward in all his beauty, sitting on my bed.

"Hello my love." He said pulling me into his arms.

I smiled as I climbed onto his lap. "Hi."

"Did you have fun with your friends?" He asked politely.

I nodded as I lay my head on his chest. "Yes I did."

I felt Edward stiffen around me. I glanced up to look at him and that's when I realized…I must smell like them. Sighing I pushed off of him and grabbed my bag. "I'll take a shower." I said as I headed to the bathroom.

Once I was finished I climbed back into Edwards waiting arms and laid my head on his chest.

"I missed you today." His voice was soft and honest.

I looked into his gorgeous eyes and smiled. "I missed you too."

Edward leaned down and gave me a soft kiss on my lips. It always amazed me how soft he could be when he was so naturally hard.

The kiss soon became more passionate. Though I knew I should stop it I couldn't force myself to. I loved when he let himself go with me. It made me feel loved and wanted. Something I was defiantly not used to.

Before I knew it, I was laid out on my bed, Edward's cold body half on top of mine. I shivered involuntary as I felt Edwards' cool lips leave mine and move slowly down my neck, leaving a trail of fire in its wake.

I was softly panting as he moved further down my body. Edwards' hand came up and covered my mouth to keep me from getting too loud. I was breathing hard and I could feel my chest rising and falling fast.

Edward kissed my arms, my chest and my stomach. Everywhere he touched with his cold talented lips felt like fire and ice. It was amazing.

Suddenly the contact was broken and there was a blanket over me. I heard Edward say "You're having a nightmare", and then he was gone.

"Bella?" Charlie's voice broke through the fog as I heard him grab the handle of my door and push it open.

I shut my eyes and pretended to toss and turn as though I was having a bad dream.

"Bella, hun, wake up." I felt Charlie shake my shoulders and after a few seconds I slowly opened my eyes.

"Dad?" I asked panting.

"Honey, are you okay? I think you were having a bad dream." His voice was thick with worry.

I nodded my head. "Yeah I'm okay dad. I must have had a bad dream."

"Well try to go back to sleep." He said pushing me back down on the bed. "Night honey."

"Night dad. Thanks for waking me up."

Once he was gone Edward was back by my side, a smug smile on his lips.

"What?" I asked a little frustrated that my dad had interrupted my very heated make out session with Edward.

"I didn't know I could do that. It's nice to know I can." He said still smiling.

"What are you talking about?" I asked still in a dazed kind of state.

"You seemed to be enjoying yourself." He said, his smile widening as I felt my cheeks reddening.


	10. Too Good to Last

AN: Hey guys I know it's been along time

AN: Hey guys I know it's been along time. I've been without internet for almost a yr now but that's been taken care of, so expect some major updates coming your way. I'd like to thank everyone who wrote in about how much they love this story and for encouraging me to keep writing. The next couple of chaps are already written so I'll try to get those out to you in the next couple of days. Hope you all enjoy.

Disclaimer: If I've said it once I've said it a million times, I owe nothing. If I owned Twilight I wouldn't be in so much debt. Lol

The following day Edward was way too happy with himself. He spent the better part of the school day smiling. Alice asked me what was up with him but I just told her that he was crazy. She seemed to except that because she didn't ask me again.

"So what are we doing tonight Bella?" Alice asked me during lunch.

I just looked at her strangely. Clearly I didn't know where in the heck that question came from. She only ever asked me that when Edward was going hunting and as far as I knew, he had no plans to go tonight.

"What are you talking about Alice?" I asked her.

"Alice is being weird today." Edward said joining in on the conversation. "Her mind is full of crazy girlie stuff." He said with a slightly disgusted look on his face.

My eye widened in fear. Alice. Girlie things. That could only mean one thing. "NO Alice. No no no no no!" I said shaking my head.

"Oh come on Bella. We haven't gone shopping in so long." She whined.

"No Alice. I don't want to go shopping. I hate shopping." I told her shaking my head harder.

"But please Bella, I saw this really cute outfit. Please."

"NO. Tell Rosalie to go with you." I told her still shaking my head. Clearly she wasn't catching on.

"But Rosalie isn't any fun. All she does is stare at herself in the mirrors." She pouted.

"No, I…" I could feel myself giving in to her pouts.

"Alice, Bella can't go shopping with you tonight because she and I have plans. I am taking her out to eat." Edward said jumping in on my behalf.

I sent a grateful look his way before looking at Alice and nodding my head. "Yeah that's right. Edward and I have plans tonight. Sorry Alice."

Alice pouted. "I know you're lying to me." She said continuing to pout. "I can't believe you Edward. You are a horrible brother." She grumbled grabbing her untouched tray and standing up. She turned to me. "Friends don't let friends shop alone." She said sadly before turning and heading to dump her tray before leaving the café.

I turned to Edward, guilt written clearly on my face.

"Don't worry about her. She'll be fine. I'll buy her some new clothes and she'll forgive us." He said waving off Alice's sour mood with a wave of his hand.

"I just…did you see her face. It looked so sad." I told him, pouting myself.

"Bella you don't even like shopping, why would you let Alice rope you into it?" He asked me.

"I just…I don't like it when she's angry with me." I pouted.

"Do you want to go shopping with Alice?" He asked me.

"No."

"Then let it go. Jasper will end up going with her and she'll be fine tomorrow when you see her." He assured me.

"Are you sure?" I asked him.

"Positive. Now what are we going to do tonight?" He asked me as he grabbed our trays and headed out of the café.

Edward picked me up from Charlie's house at around seven o'clock.

He came to Charlie's house with a single pink rose in his hand. "My lady." He said bowing to kiss my hand before handing me my rose.

I laughed at his actions. It was so out of place for the times but on Edward it seemed right. "Hello kind sir."

"Are you ready for an evening of food, music and dancing?" He asked me as he pulled me outside.

"As long as you're there, I'm ready for anything." I told him as I let his hand slip into mine.

"Wonderful, cause I don't plan to leave your side." He said as he led me to the Volvo. "Come now." He opened the door for me and let me slid in before closing the door. Seconds later he was on the other side slipping into the drivers seat.

In half the time it would take a normal person to reach Port Angels, we were there in front of our restaurant. "Let's put some food into that beautiful body of yours." He said putting the car into park. His words made me blush and before I knew it his hands were on my cheeks. "I love it when you blush."

His cool hands stroked my heated cheeks as we stared into each others' eyes. His beautiful gold ones bore into mine. "Come on." He said grabbing hold of my hand and pulling me to the restaurant.

"Hello welcome. How many?" The beautiful hostess asked once we entered.

"Booth for two, please." Edward asked politely.

The women smiled a bit too warmly at Edward before asking us to follow her.

"How's this sir?"

"Perfect. Thank you." He said as he let me slid into the booth first. The hostess placed our menus down and then looked to Edward. "You're server will be with you shortly. Enjoy your meal." Again her smile was a bit too welcoming and warm.

Edward nodded his head before sliding in next to me and holding me against his body. "So what would my lady like to eat tonight?" He asked.

I snuggled my head into his chest. "I'm in the mood for ziti."

"Ziti it is." He said pushing the menus to the side.

"Hello my name is Stephany and I'll be your server tonight. Can I start you two off with something to drink, maybe an appetizer?" She said looking only at Edward.

"Two cokes please and we're ready to order. We'd like one order of Ziti please." He said politely.

"Two cokes and an order of Ziti. Not a problem. I'll be back with your drinks." She said flashing her brightest smile towards Edward.

This was going to drive me crazy tonight. "I think I know why we don't go out in public often." I said to him once Stephany had left.

"And why is that?" He said staring into my eyes.

"Because where ever we go I'm reminded of how much prettier than me you are." I told him with a slight childish pout. "I feel like I should be carrying a stick to push all these women off of you." I told him.

Edward's laughter rang around me like heavenly bells. "You are so silly my dear Bella." He said as he brought his lips to my ear.

"You don't see how these women look at you."

"No but I hear the thoughts of all the men around us that wish you were on their arm." He told me seriously.

I looked at him hardly believing him. "You're crazy if you think I'm going to buy that."

His smile dazzled me. "You are blind to your own beauty." He said shaking his head.

I dug my head into his chest once again, to hide my blush. "You are too perfect." I mumbled.

"I think you've got that the other way around." He said.

"Here you guys go. You're food should be up shortly. Is there anything I can get you in the mean while?" Stephany asked as she placed our drinks and breadsticks down on the table.

"No thank you."

Stephany smiled once again at Edward and left us.

"Do you remember the last time we were here?" Edward asked me.

"Yes, it was the only time."

"The night when all my secrets came to light." He said shaking his head.

"I was so scared that night." I told him. "I was scared that once you knew I knew you'd…that you'd leave."

He looked at me as though trying to read my thoughts. "I was scared too you know? It's not an easy thing to have someone know all about you and your secrets." He confessed.

I nodded. "I'm glad for that night though. I think that night is really when this all began. When we finally let our guards down and started to let our true selves show."

Edward nodded as he held me closer to him.

Stephany returned with our food and I rolled my eyes at the blatant flirting she was doing with my boyfriend. Lucky for me, Edward didn't pay her any mind.

"So after this I was hoping we could go to a late movie." Edward said as I ate my food. He lightly played with my hair.

I looked up at him, causing him to stop playing with my hair and look at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"What do you mean what's wrong?" Clearly he was just as confused by my actions as I was his.

"You seem to be acting…different tonight. I can't quite place it and it's making me anxious."

Edward looked down into my eyes. "I don't know what it is either but I feel this sudden overwhelming need to be with you." He confessed softly.

"This can't be good." I mumbled as I shoved a piece of bread into my mouth.

"Why do you say that?" He asked me curiously.

"Well that can only mean something bad is going to happen soon." I answered taking a sip of my drink without looking at him.

"I don't think that is really what's happening." He told me. "I think my love is just growing." He said shrugging. "Of course I have no problem with that."

I looked into his butterscotch eyes and nodded. "I still think something bad is going to happen soon." I told him.

"I think you're just not used to us being safe." He said with a slight smirk.

"Well that's for good reason, since we never are." I told him.

"I think you're just being crazy. Now eat your dinner before we miss the movie."

I shrugged and continued eating.

"That was a great movie don't you think?" I asked Edward as we walked towards the Volvo in the parking lot.

"I think you're right." He said leaning down and kissing my forehead.

Edward walked me to my side of the car and let me in, once he shut the door he walked at human pace to his side of the car.

Before Edward could climb in I felt something hit my door and the next thing I knew, everything went black.

"Bella? Bella!" Edward's panicked voice came through the darkness. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't see anything but darkness. I couldn't even move.

"Bella please answer me." He called softly out to me.

"Oh my god! Is she all right?" A women's voice called out.

"Please call an ambulance." His voice called out. I could hear fear in his voice. I wanted to call out to him, but my throat felt very dry.

"Bella please, please hang on." He said softly as I heard his dry sobbing.


	11. Who is Isabella Swan

Disclaimer: I'm too poor to own Twilight

Disclaimer: I'm too poor to own Twilight.

--

"Is she going to be okay doctor?"

"Her vitals are okay Chief Swan, however, her head suffered some serious damage and we're not sure what that means just yet. I'm afraid we must wait for Isabella to wake up."

I heard people talking around me but I couldn't make out any of the voices, none of them seemed familiar to me. Slowly I opened one eye and saw a doctor. The man besides him looked to be some kind of police officer.

I groaned as I opened my other eye and both men looked over at me. "Hello Bella, I'm doctor Johnson. How are you feeling?" The doctor asked me.

"Who? Who's Bella?"

I noticed the doctor throw a worried glance to the man behind him. "You are. Your name is Isabella Swan. You were in a terrible accident."

"Explains the police." I mumbled.

The officer behind him looked sadly at me. "Bella, I'm Charlie, you're father."

I just looked at this Charlie man. It didn't feel as though I recognized him. "My head hurts." I said closing my eyes again.

"Bella, come on look at me. I need you to stay awake for a few minutes." Dr. Johnson called out to me.

I slowly opened my eyes to glare at him. I didn't like him. "I'm tired."

"I know you are sweety but I need to make sure that you don't have any permanent damage." He said pulling out a small little light from his jacket pocket. "Follow the light with your eyes." He said as he flashed the offending object into my eyes.

"Oww." I complained as the light hit my eyes.

"I'm sorry. You can rest a bit. I'll be back to check on you in a few." He said before turning towards Charlie and leaving the room.

"I'll be back in a few Bella." Charlie said sadly before following the doctor out of the room.

I only nodded before closing my eyes again and letting the darkness engulf me.

--

"Do you really think she lost her memory?" A soft female voice sang out from the darkness.

"That's what Dr. Johnson and Charlie said." A velvety smooth voice answered back.

"I couldn't image what it'd be like to not remember anything." Came another female voice.

"It sucks I could tell you that much." The first female voice answered.

"I don't know who the hell you people are but I'm trying to sleep." I grumbled as I slowly opened my eyes. There was a group of people in my room.

"Hey Bella. Do you remember us?" a small pixie like girl asked. I recognized her voice as the one that made a comment about not remembering.

"You already now the answer to that, so why are you bothering me?" I asked rolling my eyes.

A booming laugh drew my eyes across the room to a large guy with big muscles. "Mean Bella is just as funny as the other one."

I growled light and closed my eyes for a second. When I opened them I was startled to meet a pair of black eyes. I gulped. "Hello."

"Hi."

"And you are?" I asked. This guy was so hot.

"Edward."

"I guess I know you." I said looking at him.

I could hear snickers come from around the room but I didn't look away from the wonderfully handsome boy in front of me.

"You could say that."

"We're not family are we?"

"Why do you say that?" He asked. It looked as though he was hoping I was remembering something. Which I wasn't.

"You are too cute too be my brother. I've seen my father."

A sudden smile came to his lips and I decided then and there that it was the most beautiful smile I'd ever seen.

"No I'm not your brother. We aren't related in any way."

I nodded my head drinking in that information. "Friend then."

He shrugged.

"Well you can't be my boyfriend cause well…I've seen my reflection and there is no way I could land someone as handsome as you."

Again he smiled. "Wrong."

I could feel my eyes widen. "Yeah right you're my boyfriend." Something about the way the word boyfriend felt on my lips made me think that maybe he was telling the truth. "Are you?"

He nodded slowly.

"What happened?" I asked him.

"We were in an accident. You were at nearest point of impact." He explained sadly.

"How long ago?"

"Four nights ago."

I winced. That was a long time to be sleeping. "Were you hurt?"

He winced. "No." it sounded like he was sad.

"Was anyone else hurt?"

He smiled at that for some reason. He shook his head. "No."

I stared at him a bit longer. "Why are you just standing there? Why don't you come closer? Or sit? You're just standing there, staring at me."

"Sorry." He said moving to take a seat next to me where…

"Where did everyone else go?" I asked noticing that the room was now empty.

"They left to give us some privacy." His tone matter of fact as he took the seat next to me.

"So who are they?" I asked him once he was seated.

"My family. My parents Esme and Carlisle, my brothers Jasper and Emmett and my sisters Alice and Rosalie." He told me. "The one who was sitting next to you when you opened your eyes was Alice and the guy who laughed really loud was Emmett."

I nodded my head. "You have a big family."

He nodded. "What's the last thing you remember?"

I shook my head sadly. "Nothing. If it weren't for the fact that Dr. Johnson told me my name was Isabella Swan I wouldn't even know that." I confessed. I could tell that this saddened him deeply. "Can you tell me a bit more about me? About my life?" I asked him.

"Your doctor told us not to tell you anything. We should let you get it for yourself. We can only tell you basics."

"Well since the only thing I know is my name, my fathers name and you and your families name I'm sure you can find a few basics I need to know." I told him.

"What would you like to know?" He asked carefully.

"How old am I?"

"Eighteen."

"Am I still in High School?"

"Yes, we're seniors at Forks High School."

"Forks?"

"It's a small town a few miles up from here. We were here in Port Angeles on a date when we got into the accident."

"What kind of accident?" I was curious at how I got into this predicament.

"You had just climbed into the passenger side of my car, and I closed the door. Before I could open my door to climb into the car a drunk driver hit your side of the car dead on. I pulled you out and a lady who was coming out of the movie theater called 911 for me." Edward spoke softly, his eyes closed tightly as though he was trying to block out the images of that night.

Slowly I reached over and laid my hand on top of his.

His eyes opened and he stared at me in wide wonder.

"I wish I remembered you." I told him honestly. My emotions were choking me up and could feel the sting of tears building up behind my eyes. I tried to blink them away.

Edward stood and moved towards me pulling me into his arms.

I shivered at the contact. "You're cold."

He pulled away quickly. "Sorry."

"How long have we been together?"

He seemed to think about it, whether he was thinking of the answer or whether he should answer or not I couldn't tell. "A little over a year now."

I nodded my head. "What about friends?"

"You're best friend is an old family friend of yours named Jacob Black, he lives in La Push, the Native American Reservation. Your friends at school are Jessica Stanley, Angela Weber and a few guys." He said with obvious distaste. "You work at the local Sporting Goods Store in town three days a week." He said pausing to think. "Let's see what else?"

"Are we in love?"

He looked startled by my question. "I can't answer that for you."

I nodded. "Edward…what about my mother? No one's mentioned her."

"Oh. You're mother lives in Florida with her husband Phil. Her name is Renee."

"My parents aren't together?"

"No. Your mom left your dad when you were little. You lived with her in Phoenix up until about two years ago when you came to live with your dad in Forks. She lives in Florida now."

I didn't say anything for a while as I absorbed the information he'd given me.

Suddenly someone burst through the door to my hospital room. It was a tall boy with tan skin and long black hair.

"Bella!" He said as he rushed to my bed and hugged me tightly. I felt myself stiffen in his embrace.

I looked at Edward worriedly.

"It's okay Bella, this is Jacob Black, remember I told you about him?" He reminded me.

Jacob looked up at Edward a bit annoyed. "What did you tell her?" He asked angrily.

"He told me that you were my best friend." I told him. I didn't understand why Edward and Jacob were looking at each other so harshly. Did my boyfriend and best friend not get along?

Jacob looked down at me, his eyes softening. "That's right. I am your best friend, and you're mine." He told me gently as he removed a piece of stray hair from my face.

"How did you know I was here?" I asked him.

"Charlie called me and told me what happened. I wasn't able to come up sooner, but Charlie called and told me that you were awake. So I came running."

"You ran?"

"Not literally." Edward said glaring at Jacob.

"No not literally." Jacob amended.

I could see Jacob and Edward glaring at each other. I guess my best friend and boyfriend don't get along.

--

"Bella are you ready to go home?" Charlie asked coming into my hospital room.

I nodded my head. "Sure am. I don't think I like hospitals very much." I said, not trying to hide my disgust.

Charlie laughed at me. "Well come on sweety. All your friends are waiting for you at the house."

"Edward?" I asked. Everyday for the past week that I'd been in the hospital Edward had come by and kept me company. He'd bring me books and magazines and he'd watch really bad reality television with me. Whenever I thought of him I felt a light tug at my heart. I think maybe I'm in love with him.

Charlie nodded. "Yes Edward, his family, Jacob and Billy too." He added.

I felt like Charlie didn't approve of my relationship with Edward and in a way he was trying to push me towards Jacob but I couldn't be sure. I just shrugged it off. Eventually my memory would come back. Hopefully.

AN: Come on you know you want to hit that lovely button that says "Send a Review" so just do it.


End file.
